Close Reading #1
9/11 Recalled — Kabul
By SHARIFULLAH SAHAKhttp://atwar.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/11/911-recalled-kabul/?scp=1&sq=911&st=cse In this passage, I feel a strong sense, that Sharifullah wants "peace and prosperity" for the citizens of Afghanistan. The love toward her country, the liking toward the "new and democratic" government, and the hate towards all the "killings and bloodshed" was attributed by the author. As an outside viewer and someone that was not within the country when 9/11 happened. I felt a strong motive from the author, a thirst for wanting to know more in depth with the tragedy. Wanting to understand more of what had happened that could have made Afghanistan a democratic country. And how the incidence "changed" her life, and gave the refugee "hope and wishes", creating a "comfortable" feeling for them. Things I have noticed. Diction: The author used "weapons" as to explain that back then before the 9/11 Afghanistan uses firearms to solve everything. Not so much a "democratic" government. The hoping and wishing to live a "normal" life. There could be many interpretation of the word "normal". But right here, the author mean to say, a life where they can get electricity, water, money for food, and mostly no killing. The author said "Where you have peace you have human life". "Peace" is such a beautiful word that sounds like everything is in harmony. But really the author said where "peace" is, is where you have "life". The kind of life that most people want. Especially when wars are surrounding us.Language: She said "bad", as in horrible, awful, condition not fit for human being. She saw senior governors working in hotels and clean stuff. Sharifullah Sahak is a very talented journalist who lives in Afghanistan. She really pulled me into the passage. I have a very brief knowledge on what happened after the 9/11 attack. The attack itself was pretty well known though. Hearing stories from American is intriguing, but it doesn't bring the perceive of reality. Her Diction and Language use can really grab readers and making readers want to know more of what is going on.
Your analysis on diction is very good but your language paragraph could use some work. You articulated that Sahak felt strongly about 9/11 so you need to back that up with some language uses. Also try to incorporate 3 techniques. Just in general try to relate your techniques to effects, which you do in the diction paragraph, but then try to take it one step further and explain the meaning of using the word peace (ex. displays optimism about the future state in Afghanistan especially significant on the 10 year anniversary- a very patriotic article and promotes the status quo).
ReplyDeleteHey so your blog doesn't let me post comments on the other page so I will just post them here....
ReplyDeleteFor the open prompt I think you can elaborate on all your points a little more. You don't really elaborate on your intro. You state that the morally ambiguous characters are key and without which the main character can't succeed but you don't back that up with a reasoning (which could be your thesis). You begin to answer "why his or her moral ambiguity is significant to the work as a whole" but you should answer that in the thesis. Also try to use more techniques and more examples from the novels. Snape is a very complex character so you have a ton to work with so use it. Overall, what you have is really good just add to it.
For response to coursework.
ReplyDeleteGreat personal feedback. Next time try to do write a critical response as well as a personal response. State what topics you learned in class and why that's significant and sort of paraphrase and analyze what we learned. Relate it to other subjects or analogies that convey that you truly learned the material on a critical level. Great Job overall on all three assignments.
This work sounds very interesting to me. I agree with Nishant in that you did a good job analyzing diction, but it seems like you're just listing words that the author used. Next time, try to analyze deeper into the effect and meaning and how the diction contributes to these. Also, your language analysis doesn't do much analysis. Remember that language and diction are different techniques! I think a third technique you could have tried to analyize would be imagery. I personally have a lot of strong images tied to 9/11 and it would be interesting to see how the author used this technique to contribute to her work.
ReplyDeleteAnnnnd like Nishant, I'm going to comment here for all three blogs because it won't let me comment on the others. Your open prompt was pretty short and seemed a little vague to me. The analysis was mostly on the surface. Next time, try to dig deeper into the work and answer the hidden "so what?" question about meaning. Also, I was a little confused about your thesis because it was a little unclear. Remember that the thesis is the direction the essay will follow, so try to make it as clear and concise as possible. I like that you used quotes from the movie/book because it helped support your points.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of your response to course material. I think it might have been more effective to first summarize some of the ideas and things we've learned about the techniques and then reflect on them. This way, you're restating the knowlegdge and that'll help you remember it. We also learned things like how to write an intro and thesis, so I think you could have included those in your response. I agree that I still haven't mastered syntax, I think it's the hardest out of the DIDLS techniques. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAs Kim said, I think your diction section needs just a little bit more explanation on the different words, but otherwise I think it's good. On the subject of using imagery I think that would be a great idea, and would help strengthen your language paper, since figurative language such as analogies and personification can also create vivid images.
ReplyDeleteFor your open prompt I feel that there definatley needs to be mroe analysis. Most of it was concerning the first book, when there are 6 others where Snape continues to play an active role, and many of them could easily apply to your thesis. Such as the Occlumency lessons in the 5th book or the images of Snape being tormented by Harry's father. And seeing as how diction was the main point of your thesis, I feel that another 1 or 2 techniques would have broadened the scope of events with which to analyze Snape. I really enjoyed the placement of the Quirrel quote, it really accentuated your point.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the figurative language part, it's been relatively easy for me to pick up on that compared to the others, especially syntax. ALso the distinction between just making you think and thinking of an actual image is something I think is very important when talking about imagery. I 'd like to hear more of your opinions on syntax, but otherwise great job!
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